Monday, June 15, 2009

How to enjoy life when your life really sucks and you're probably a looser.

1. Laugh at the misfortune of others: Like the fact that you are on the internet right now and they are not.

2. Drive slowly in the fast lane: When you are having a bad day sometimes it helps to make someone else really really upset, and hey if you can piss off a cop while driving then taunt him into shooting you in the head you'll never have a bad day again.

3. Food: What food should you not be eating? Go get that and a lot of it, then batter it and fry it up for even more deliciousness. Your life sucks anyways you might as well enjoy a meal.

4. Wear sweat pants: When your life sucks your confidence is shot and people can pick up on that and shy away from you. So break out those sweat pants if people are going to avoid your gaze anyways you might as well be comfortable.

5. Nap: Take a nap you looser.

6. Write a blog: So that someone might leave you a comment and then check it every 6 seconds so and when it finally comes you can rejoice that someone actually cared enough to comment about the mindless dribble you're putting out there.

7. Make someone else feel better, or if that fails make someone feel worse then maybe they will try and make you feel better and the cycle will continue.

8. When you are having the worst day ever ask out the hottest girl/guy you see I mean it's not like your day could get worse. Oooh she maced you? Well at least you'll have a story to tell. If you had any friends to tell it to. Maybe that guy at the 7-11 wants to here about your day......

9. Take a walk. Not to clear your head really but to exercise. Beautiful people don't have bad days they fart rainbows and the world bows to their Superior genetic code. So maybe if you dropped a few pounds things would look up for you.

10. Read a funny blog and leave a comment. Do it now dammit.

2 comments:

me,myself, and I said...

Thankyou for pointing out something I never noticed before. I do fart rainbows!!! I had no idea!

pipsmithy said...

Leaving a comment.