Thursday, June 4, 2009

Everything I need to know I learned from watching cartoons part II

Knowing is half the battle and the other half is mostly just gore and stuff.

It is ok to trust your little problems like your daughter was kidnapped to adorable chipmunks.

Never trust someone who owns a cat. Owning a cat makes you evil which means that the crazy cat lady down the street must be the most evil person in all of existence.

Ponies are cute unicorns are cute but beware candy mountain If you haven't seen this watch till the end.

When you find yourself caught up in an intergalactic struggle for peace never trust the guys with the red laser guns.

If you need money for any reason there should be a talent show near by with the prize being the exact amount you need. So just keep looking.

All robots can transform and if they look like a cat then they can form a human looking head.

The road runner is probably to stringy to taste good anyways.

Jonny Quest is probably a really F#$*d up adult that has recurring nightmares about lizard men capturing him. I know there is a lesson in here somewhere... Oh save now for therapy later is a good one.

The more annoying you are the less likely you are to find help of any kind. Even nature will smite you for being the way you are and it will make you a jaded horrible person. Unless you are a woodpecker then you're fine.

Never get involved with a princess of any kind it will only make your life a living hell filled with ransom demands. Go for the chamber maid instead she doesn't have baggage. Just don't let her try on any slippers. P.S. nothing good comes from slippers you will put them on only to kill the good witch of the north or find a really shallow boyfriend with a foot fetish.

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