Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Everything I need to know I learned from watching cartoons

I realized that all life’s little lessons can be learned from cartoons and much like this kindergarten guy I to have learned all I need to know.

Hitting people with a frying pan is funny and has no repercussions as long as you run from the room or possibly try and blow them up with TNT.

When in a situation I can’t get out of cross dressing and coming on to the problem causer is the answer.

Never buy from acme; its products have a terrible return policy.

The law of gravity states that an object will only fall if it knows it should.

Wearing the same thing every day is a perfectly acceptable life style.

Never trust grandmothers with big teeth

Wearing a red cloak only invites trouble

Smurfs can be made into gold by way of an alchemical process as long as your cat doesn’t screw it up.

If someone is trying to kill you acting as retarded as possible will save you every time.

Guns can be stopped by fingers

Planning an elaborate trap is never worth the effort

Strapping yourself to a rocket will only end in tears


Tonia said...

Did you come up with these off the top of your head or was this a long night of insomnia. They are hysterical!I am also listening to your music while writing this and it is making me much happier...well, that and I had some sugar.
I would also add that cats seem to be the choice for the bad guys (never trust a guy with a cat).

pipsmithy said...

CARTOON: Transformers
LESSON: If we're not careful, robots will kill us all.
How it affected us as adults: The reason we stay away from Priuses and make our TV wear a blindfold when we sleep at night.