Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Things I was Promised

Things That I was Promised but never got

1. Flying Car: I crash every car on the ground and that it has been deemed a safety violation for me to even be in a moving vehicle so I need the sky as a more open less oppressive place to drive.

2. A robot: I realized that robots like the terminator make us fear that if we make a robot really intelligent it will realize we are its inferiors and destroy mankind. But it would be really cool to have one until that happened.

3. Jet Packs: See flying cars

4. Holodecks: Like from star trek. How about any holo technology at all. I would settle for virtual reality head sets but no. Like the robots the holo programs could become intelligent and try and take us over. But unlike the robots they have to stay in the holo room and I am guessing that 90% of all holo programs would just be hot girls in skimpy cloths anyways, and I don't think I would mind them taking over.

5. Transporter technology: I once thought my microwave was a transporter and put a frog in there an set it so that he could go to the pond. When I ran down to the pond sure enough there was a frog and when I got home my mom got mad and made me clean the microwave. I told her that it was a new transporter so of course it would make a bit of a mess but there was defiantly nothing resembling a frog in there so I am pretty sure it worked.

6. Space travel: I can't go to the moon for a pleasingly vacation weekend. In fact they don't even send professionals to the moon anymore I understand that once you have cruised the sea of tranquility on a lunar scooter it's all pretty much down hill, but you could pretend that the billions we pay to NASA is going somewhere.

7. X-ray specs: These would only be used for nefarious deeds but still I thought they were on the horizon at least. And if I had a pair I wouldn't need to look so hard for that pesky Adams apple.

8. A girl friend: This is not one of those long term they promised this to my parents in the 70's and now I don't have it, but I got on one of those internet dating sites and they promised me a girl friend.

9. 401k Security: "Investing in this is the smartest thing you can do for your future" they said. Lame.

10. Healthy food that tastes good: Ok this is one that they have been promising since like forever in every future ever all your nutrition is in the form of really tasty food. BUT NO! healthy food still tastes like crap.


Augusto said...

I've long wanted a Jetson's vehicle. I see nothing on the horizon so unless I'm cryogenically freeze dried and reconsituted much much later, I fear my dream is crushed.

Just Sayin' said...

You're absolutely right... We seem to be running way behind schedule!

Danielle Fox said...

Very funny... Good to know there are others out there. I'm from South Africa and feel the same. Not just about the cool stuff that is long over due but the insomnia. And no, it's not because i'm being chased down by lions. :)

Syden said...

Danielle Fox,

Are they tigers then?

Tonia said...

So that's what happened to the microwave

Danielle Fox said...

Occasionally.. But generally they keep to themselves.. It's the wild goats that are far more terrifying.