Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A plea to the masses stop the insanity

We live in troubled times the banks aren't secure, there is a constant threat of terrorism, job loss is at an all time high, and sometimes when I put one of those new air fresheners in my car that looks like a tree I can only smell it for like a day. And in this turbulent time we look to make it worse I am talking of course of chain letters. Let me set a few things straight.

1. Bill gates will never give you money for anything he will actually bleed you dry and swim in your blood while he makes you try and use vista before he would consider giving you money. Then he would sell your organs.

2. There is no virus that will burn a hole in your hard drive. Seriously people burn a hole in your hard drive? Is the virus made out of magnesium and ignites when you open the email? If that's the case the inventor of the virus deserves a medal or grant or something for figuring out how to bend the laws of physics and send solid matter through email.

3. Norton Anti-virus is not gearing up for a big virus. What do you think that they hear through the virus grape vine that there is a new contender in town and start a massive undertaking with special troops dressed in ninja outfits? No that's their job they are nerds sitting in a basement fixing stuff so stop thinking of them as elite commandos out for blood.

4. A funny picture will never move if you send this email to three people. What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you think that the email knows magically when you send it on then lovingly grants you your grandest desires? No, so stop sending me this crap

5. You will not have bad luck if you don't send this to seven people if anything you will have good luck for not sending it at all. If you ever get one of these send it back seven times to the person who sent it with a death threat attached if you can.

6. This is real people it was check out by Snopes is awesome for debunking rumors and hoaxes I uses them often. Just because an email has this on it doesn't mean a damned thing! Check your facts before you send it. I recommend actually using (you people make me cry inside sometimes.)

7. Political opinions, religious opinions, and cute pictures of kittens should not be sent to every person on your contacts list. Ever stop to think my opinion might be different than yours, and what you sent was actually pretty offensive? Especially those damned Kittens!!! I don't want to see them frolicking about with quotes that says "look they think they're people." And if you get a response from me and I have edited and put little Hitler mustaches on all of your kitties or taken them off of political leaders don't freak out if you want my actual opinion I will give it to you.

8. Funny haha I love funny emails but know your audience. The send to all email is not for everyone. This is how spammers get lots of new email addresses ever day just one of these intercepted emails has like 50 new names on it. You know why? You forwarded a forward of a forward of a forward. At least have the decency to clean it up a bit before you send it on.

9. When you misspell a word it shows up in red. Now I am not the king of spelling anyone reading any of my posts will know that instantly, but if it's burning red at you just look at the suggestions for spelling please. I catn taek thiss craap anymores

10. Just stop the insanity. If you want to know what's what, the internet is a great tool. But it is also full of idiots on an idiotic rampage unwittingly trying to destroy the world by a combination of shock, awe, and chain letters. Don't participate in the mayhem I am begging you.


Danielle Fox said...

Where do i click to "like" this? ;)

Leeuna said...

I'm so with you on this. Another thing you should add is this: When you forward an email to everyone on your list, please send it as a BCC (blind carbon copy) so that my address won't be sent to all the morons and the friends of those morons ad infinity.

Kit Walker said...

Stop the insanity? Don't participate in mayhem? Where's the fun then?