Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Questions every man has to ask himself

Ever come to the realization that the guy you just killed probably wasn't a highlander and you will probably have to answer for yet another decapitation?

The clown asked me what he could do to make me laugh officer. It's not my fault I think that a clown getting hit by a car is funny. Also he was standing awfully close to the curb so really are the handcuffs so necessary? Man his big red shoes flew so far! Why aren't you laughing, he died doing what he loved? Oh I see your mad because I made you hit a clown with your squad car aren't you?

When not to ask: Will you marry me? Stop crying I'm sure you're dad is in a better place right now. Also it was that cop who technically hit him with his car not me. So how about it?

I know that you will be tempted to walk up to Bigfoot and see if he truly is the gentle giant of the forest. But ask yourself isn't that just a grizzly bear? And why am I covered in honey?

Remember when you got abducted over spring break and that alien probed you again, and again, and again, and again, and again, then made you slow dance to lady in red? I'm sorry that was a joke that admittedly went to far. But in my defense the midget we got to dress up like an alien was really into you. So do you forgive me?

No comments: