Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Phun on the Fone

As the IT Manager at my job I often get solicited by all kinds of sales people cold calling and trying to sell me something. This is one of those conversations.

Saleswoman Mindy: Hello is this Syden
Syden: Yes.... Who is this?
Saleswoman Mindy: Hi my name is Mindy and I have an exciting offer for you from somecrapywebsite.com. Let me ask you do you do all the purchasing for your company?

(A bit of back story now this is the sixth call I have received from this company and they all use the same script my previous attempts to get on their do not call list have all failed. So this time I was prepared.)

Syden: Why yes I do Steve and I would love to find some kind of helpful website to aid me in my decision making process.
Saleswoman Mindy: Great and my name was Mindy by the way, we can help you with all of your needs the services...
Syden: Wait did you say your name was Mindy Steve? That seems like a strange name when did you have it changed?
Saleswoman Mindy:*completely thrown off by the interruption* What no my name is Just Mindy not Mindy Steve.
Syden: Oh I am sorry I thought you said Steve hey do you guys sell car insurance too?
Saleswoman Mindy: Wait what?.... No we just sell computer parts... in fact we have some great offers right now.
Syden: Hmm do you know anyone who does sell car insurance because I am looking to save some money?
Saleswoman Mindy: No I'm sorry I don't we just sell computer parts and help you make the best purchase decisions for your company.
Syden: Oh I'm sorry Jessica that was a dumb question. Could you help me decide what to put into say a server?
Saleswoman Mindy: *Pauses for a minute* Yes we could do just that.
Syden: What, oh I wasn't talking to you sorry Jessica just came into my office. Sorry that was rude of me please continue.
Saleswoman Mindy: Oh well I could help you make those kinds of decisions about servers and work stations.
Syden: Really that would be great what do you think about a server that could like transform into something else?
Saleswoman Mindy: What? Like a transformer....no we don't do that if you would like to look at our website it has..
Syden: How about a keyboard that typed for me? I get tired of typing but I hate voice recognition software because it just tells on me.
Saleswoman Mindy: *Long Pause* Did you say that you where the IT Manager for your entire company?
Syden You know I just can't get over how much you sound like a Steve have you ever thought of cutting your hair and changing your name?
Saleswoman Mindy: Um sir I'm not sure we can help you with what you need.
Syden: Do you guys sell medication of any kind?
Saleswoman Mindy: What um no just computer parts.
Syden: Hmm that's not what Steve said.
Saleswoman Mindy: What who is this Steve?
Syden: Hey do you like parrots? Not as birds but to eat? I know this great place Mandy and we could talk shop over parrot. I get the beak though it is kind of a tradition.
Saleswoman Mindy: Uh....Uh... I don't think we can help you today thank you for your time.
Syden: Hold on Mindy... you still there?
Saleswoman Mindy: Look sir if you are just going to waste my time.
Syden: Oh I am so sorry I hate it when people call me and waste my time don't you Mandy? *click* Mindy? Steve? Huh she must have hung up.

1 comment:

Jeff and Anna too! said...

Perhaps you could launch your own sales pitch.

I'm going to do that to the next creditor that calls for my sister. They make me CRAZY.