Thursday, August 28, 2008
Act VIII Counting Sheep
There is one question I hate above all others. Hey good morning how did you sleep? As if it weren't evident from the dark circles under my blood shot eyes and the tell tale twitch that I am just millimeters from the edge. So when I am asked I tell this story it goes like this. There is a legend among us insomniacs spoken in hushed tones in dark places (mostly dark because it is night time and we are not sleeping). A Legend of a herd of sheep that if counted one will finally fall asleep. I know what you are thinking everyone knows that. Well shut up because it's a legend meaning that it might have worked once but now is just a load of crap we tell normals who think they actually need help sleeping. But to us sleep deprived it is like the holy grail or a fifteen dollar churro at Disneyland that didn't disappoint you, in other words sought after but never attainable. Well last night I was exploring this myth I did as my forefathers did (actually I only have one father but you get the idea) and I imagined a grassy clearing with an old wooden fence and then one by one I imagined the sheep jumping the fence (they kind of looked like those sheep in the Serta mattress commercials all fluffy and sort of cartoony but I digress. Anyways I started counting one, two, three, as each sheep jumped the gate and made a little baaaahhh sound thirty five, thirty six, thirty seven, then I realized I must have quite a lot of sheep piling up on this side of the gate with all that jumping and baaaahhh-ing. So I let my vision pan out to see where these sheep where going. Yes I know that's not supposed to be important but as you get more and more sleep deprived your mind considers stranger things than these I'll tell you. But as I panned out I could not see any of my recently counted sheep. That is until my fluffy little friend jumped the gate again thirty eight, baaahhh this is when I saw the horrifying truth. There where not thirty eight sheep my white frolicking friend jumped the gate then promptly walked to the side where there was a hole in the fence walked back around and jumped once more. THERE IS ONLY ONE SHEEP!!!! That's right one, I looked in horror as the fluffy figment of my imagination jumped the same gate over and over again. The scene disturbed me enough that it roused me from my imaginings and I dare not go back. What kind of creature would do such a thing? Anyways that was my night no sleep and a delusion about an insane cartoon sheep. How did you sleep?