Thursday, March 26, 2009

Syden Insomniacs product development

I have decided to make an air freshener that smells like buttered toast and hot coco. I will be a millionaire by Christmas.

My recent line of computer mice that where made from actual mice has made P.E.T.A file an injunction against me. I don't know what their problem is I used the dead mice that had been used in lab testing. Besides the occasional extra ear they made for a fantastic feeling mouse. Especially the ones that where test subjects for shampoo companies man those things where soft and shiny.

Due to the recent economic downturn my heated cheese graters for instant nacho's line will have to be put on hold. Also the rumors of second and third degree burns from the product have been widely exaggerated. It has a tiny warning sticker right on it that reads may exceed temperatures not meant to be seen in nature. What? I like really hot nachos.

My pharmaceutical line is working well the pill that stops spontaneous combustion for paranoid consumers has a 99% success rate (man that one guy in Oklahoma really threw my numbers off).

Also my idea to combine weight loss pills with antidepressants that taste like chocolate and freshen breath have only reported a 7% mortality rate. Which we all know is a dramatic improvement from last year.

And finally my idea to make people staying at half way houses into a mindless force of warriors to conquer my competition has not gone as planned. Luckily tho we armed them and gave them confidence and firepower they are hooked on my old line of Chocolate flavored antidepressants so the problem will work itself out eventually.


unrecognizable said...

Where can I get these chocolate flavored anti-depressants

Jeff and Anna too! said...

Ha oh ... man...

I just read all your previous posts. I'm subbing high school shop but they don't get to go to shop because apparently I'm not qualified to teach them to weld and hold a flaming torch.

Thanks for the entertainment