Thursday, September 18, 2008
Act 15 Third Party
I am getting pretty tired of politics and how it is invading all facets of my life. You can’t throw a proverbial stone without it rebounding off of some ridiculous story that has no real bearing on…well politics. I don’t really care about pigs and bull dogs and who put lipstick on them while playing hockey and talking about change all the while not building a bridge to nowhere that they may or may not have wanted in the first place but never got. Is anyone else reminded of a fourth grade recess showdown? It goes something like this, (I’ll make up some names so that no one gets offended, lets go with John, Sara, Brock, and Joe); John pushes Brock while they are in an argument. John gets in trouble because he is older and should know better. John starts playing with the new girl Sara and Brock gets mad because no one is playing with him anymore. So he and his less popular friend Joe call Sara a dog. This turns into a shoving match between all four and they all get sent to the principal’s office. Seriously is this what our country is coming to? If Republicans and Democrats can’t play nice together or in the least be civil with one another lets start a new party. In this new party we will focus on fairness. If at any time someone goes too far left or too far right they will be summarily executed for crimes against humanity. Everyone will be listened to in turn and if it turns out you are a nut job you will be executed for crimes against humanity. Name calling will not be tolerated. Negative ads that make no sense will not be tolerated. You get exactly one free lie in your entire political career. If you are found to have lied more than once you will be executed for crimes against humanity. It might sound cruel but that insures that those who want to run are serious about the commitment. Oh and the biggest policy will be question answering. If you are ever heard to say “let me answer that question with this question” you will be executed for crimes against humanity. If you don’t know the answer to a question or don’t want to answer then the appropriate responses will be the following; ‘I don’t know, let me get back to you on that one’. Or, ‘I am not answering that at this time,’ followed by an explanation of why you are not answering the question. By the way if you don’t get back to them you will be executed for crimes against humanity. I think this will solve most of our political problems. If I have to hear one more argument that is the mental equivalent of pulling out a large clump of nose hair with rusty needle nose pliers, I might just have to climb a clock tower with a homemade rifle that shoots milk duds and start taking people out. Just to prove a point since it makes just about as much sense as our current political phenomena.