Friday, September 12, 2008

Act 14 Life's Lemons

There is an old saying, "when life gives you lemons make lemonade." So I have been trying to put this little saying into action in my own life. But life has given me a lot of lemons lately but has failed to give me sugar or water. So I have been trying to figure out how on earth I am going to make lemonade. I ran into this fiscal conundrum: The price of purified drinking water on the scales that I need is going to be roughly $10,000 because of the damned dirty hippies running up water costs (see act 11.) I also need sugar about 4 tons should do it at 6.50 per 1lbs bag that runs at about $26,000.00 dollars. So I did what every good American does I took out a loan went to a trade school for 11 months and got my food handlers permit and started pumping out lemonade at an astounding rate. With marketing for Syden’s life Lemonade and all of the employees I have had to hire I am in dept at around 3 million dollars. When I came to a heart stopping, climb a tower with a sniper rifle, gouge your eyes out conclusion. Life gives everyone lemons! So that drove down the demand of my products with so many "free" lemons on the market people start asking the question. "Why do I need to buy your lemonade I have my own lemons right here?" So Syden’s life Lemonade has unfortunately had to shut its doors due to bankruptcy mainly on the premise that people no longer want lemonade. So to sum up LIFE STOP GIVING ME SO MANY FREAKING LEMONS!!!!!

2 comments:

Tonia said...

I think this one is my favorite so far.

The maid said...

I think you should invent a car that runs off of lemons. At today's gas prices, and the amount of lemons that life is giving us all, you could rule the world.