Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Act 10 Sock Puppets
Many of you know that in the wee hours of the morning when I wile away the time staring at the alarm clock through blood shot eyes. That slowly clicks away the seconds of my eternal torment. That I sometimes like to do private puppet shows which I have named The Midnight Marionette Puppet Theater. I know it sounds crazy to put sometimes dirty socks on your hands (it’s hard to tell in the dark) and make them talk to each other. But I dare you to stay awake for three straight days and try not put on a puppet show of your own (it's only natural.) But I stray from my point. I have noticed that recently some of my favorite sock performers have been disappearing. I have called the authorities and even written to my congressman (another of my favorite pastimes at 4 o'clock in the morning) but to no avail! They don't seem to care that miscellaneous socks are being abducted from their homes. So I have done some investigation of my own and every single person I have interrogated has named the culprit: the dryer. Yes the lint hording sock steeling dryer. But this investigation did not stop there. You see it was too perfect a crime for one dryer to accomplish it never takes pairs of socks only one sock at a time and always my favorite pair at that. It was too clever a plan for the dryer to be working alone. Then it came to me Dirty Hippies. That right tree hugging bottled, water drinking no shoe wearing, dirty Hippies. In a new invasion attempt to turn the average Joe worker, into a lazy lay about. The Hippies are systematically stealing our socks making us drink bottled water and playing their loud hippy music in our malls. This devious plan to take our socks will turn us into a no shoe wearing society. Which we all know is the first signs of hippy-Titus. So guard your socks keep your feet clean and remember don't blame the dryer for the hippies evil plans. As always I say place blame where blame is do on the Dammed dirty Hippies!!!