Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Act 10 Sock Puppets

Many of you know that in the wee hours of the morning when I wile away the time staring at the alarm clock through blood shot eyes. That slowly clicks away the seconds of my eternal torment. That I sometimes like to do private puppet shows which I have named The Midnight Marionette Puppet Theater. I know it sounds crazy to put sometimes dirty socks on your hands (it’s hard to tell in the dark) and make them talk to each other. But I dare you to stay awake for three straight days and try not put on a puppet show of your own (it's only natural.) But I stray from my point. I have noticed that recently some of my favorite sock performers have been disappearing. I have called the authorities and even written to my congressman (another of my favorite pastimes at 4 o'clock in the morning) but to no avail! They don't seem to care that miscellaneous socks are being abducted from their homes. So I have done some investigation of my own and every single person I have interrogated has named the culprit: the dryer. Yes the lint hording sock steeling dryer. But this investigation did not stop there. You see it was too perfect a crime for one dryer to accomplish it never takes pairs of socks only one sock at a time and always my favorite pair at that. It was too clever a plan for the dryer to be working alone. Then it came to me Dirty Hippies. That right tree hugging bottled, water drinking no shoe wearing, dirty Hippies. In a new invasion attempt to turn the average Joe worker, into a lazy lay about. The Hippies are systematically stealing our socks making us drink bottled water and playing their loud hippy music in our malls. This devious plan to take our socks will turn us into a no shoe wearing society. Which we all know is the first signs of hippy-Titus. So guard your socks keep your feet clean and remember don't blame the dryer for the hippies evil plans. As always I say place blame where blame is do on the Dammed dirty Hippies!!!


drc8151 said...

I spend a considerable number of hours awake during times that John and Jane Q Public are sleeping so I understand your concerns. While I have not invested any considerable amount of time in sock puppet performances, I do see an alarming number of Billy Mays informercials.

I'm really commenting to note that I use these little sock rings I've gotten from both tupperware and k-mart that link the two socks together and that seems to defeat not only the random dryer but also the cult of the hippies.

Check them out - I think you will be pleased with the results

Syden said...

Ah yes Billy Mays you know he is giving away a free duster with those super absorbent cloths but only if I call right now! And could sock rings be the end of Hippie tyranny? I'll have to check those out.... after I make this call of course I only have 3 minutes left on this one time special offer.

Tonia said...

Let's see....Christmas List:
Ryan - new car stereo
Dad and Mom - cruise to the Bahamas
Dustin - new socks and laundry rings

p.s. I LOVE the new songs and I am going to steal them for my blog

p.p.s. Your English grammer is getting better....has Eliora been tutoring on the side?

Reckless Driver said...

im a dirty hippie

Jeff and Anna too! said...

The dryer... sometimes at night I can hear its thumping as it slowly steals one more sock. ... I'm missing more than one this time...