Friday, March 19, 2010

An ode to the Chinese girl that I used to think was really hot whom I now call monkey butt

You are the Chinese girl at the place I work
I think that you are perhaps a clerk
I used to smile and say hello
When you didn’t answer I just went with the flow
I helped you carry boxes to your car
Which wasn’t fair ‘cause it was really far
You never smiled or even said thank you
It hurt my feelings but you don’t have a clue
I tried to be nice but I always fail
So I spread the rumor that you have a vestigial tail

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Averages: If you where to say the average person slept 7 hours a night by the time they are 80 they will have slept 204400 hrs. I on the other hand only sleep 2-4 hours a night so on average 3 hrs in 80 years I will only have slept 87600 hrs. That is a difference of 116800 hrs or 13.33 years at 80 I will have been awake 13.33 years longer than an average person. Some might think this is cool I on the other hand think that by the time I am 80 I will reach such a state of Uber-boredom that time will cease to exist all together and I will finally unlock time travel. Unfortunately I will realize that the only use for ‘boredom black hole capacitor technology’ (patent pending) is to go back and watch old infomercials of the sham wow guy and that really cool car wax that protects your paint from laser beams.