Showing posts with label breaking resolutions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breaking resolutions. Show all posts

Friday, December 19, 2008

ACT 24: New years resolution

3 Score and last year I wrote a resolution to never make another new years resolution. I promptly broke that resolution with my next resolution which was not to eat another cookie. By the way I broke that resolution after finding out that we did indeed have more milk in the fridge. So this year I would like to complicate things a little less by making a resolution to break all new years resolutions within 4 days of new years. But the problem with that is that if my resolution is to break all resolutions I will not be able to complete my resolution to break all resolutions by breaking the aforementioned resolution. So who is with me so far? I lost my train of thought around cookie and just kept typing resolution as often as possible until I found it again. Really the purpose of this post is to punish those of you with hangovers from the night before. I set out to use the word resolution to give you the worst headache you have ever had, which should be working because I am very sober and I can feel a massive migraine forming behind my eyes. Why you ask? Because I hate people telling me that I need to make a resolution each year. So really my resolution is to make you pay for your resolution to make me make a resolution. Oh and just to make sure resolution, resolution, resolution, that’s right I hate you. In case you are wondering the word resolution appears 25 times. Happy New Year.